Middle of Nowhere

Doing a little bit of too many things I love doing.
Sometimes, i think about focussing on something I really want to do, but I realize that there are too many such things and I have not been able to prioritize yet.
my folks expect me to have a scheduled life, a stable life, which would have no ups and no downs.
I wake up, slide open my window and stare at the rising sun everyday. what comes to my mind is... the most powerful thing, the sun, has a schedule too. the question is, what role do i play in this world? what's am i supposed to do with this human body, which drives my soul towards aspirations like money, materialistic pleasures and development at the cost of nature.
i don't wanna give up, turn my back and walk out of this system. I am not a coward. and, i don't want to spend the rest of my life just observing things. i want to start doing something that i could do all my life. i want to discover, want to write, want to create my own environment and make my life a little more worth living.
most of us are not aware of the future and we can never be when are so lost in the present.
but that's what it's all about. living the present, not anticipating the future, but preparing for it.
I don't understand words like 'career' and 'goal'.
i don't understand why anyone would not travel and understand the universe the way it is supposed to be.
I don't understand, because i've not seen enough yet, not thought enough and not questioned enough.
I am in the middle of nowhere.